Solitude
a celebration - with writing and art-ing prompts
Since writing about aloneness in ‘Pheasant’, I’ve seen a single magpie nearly every day this week, sitting in one of the trees in the view from where I’m writing this. I’ve also learned that Agnes Martin would alternate between solitude and being in company on an annual rotation.
Writing about Martin’s proclivity for solitude has urged me to look further. In an article online, her search for isolation is mentioned early on, explaining that she had expected enlightenment when she left New York for New Mexico:
“But I found out that it’s not enlightening. I think that what you’re supposed to do is stay in the midst of life.”
And perhaps, what I had learned in thinking about her switching from solitude to company was, what the author of this piece writes: “a delicate balancing act between mind-clearing isolation and meaningful, inspiring social interaction” (Gotthardt). I like to think this is what I have been writing towards in ‘Pheasant’. I am alone and isolated in many ways, but I am also in community, and it is in those particular words the author uses, ‘meaningful, inspiring social interaction’ that are doing a lot of the work on what shifts loneliness to aloneness.
Recalling times early on in my illness, more than ten years ago now, I could not tolerate the presence of people even where they were there. This was a necessary retreat. But even then there were people in my life, however tenuous or distant the connection. Of all the things I do remember of that brain fogged time, I recall the isolation, but I don’t remember a feeling of loneliness. This may simply be a result of the passing of time, feeling alone was acutely experienced. No one could tell me what was wrong with my body and no one could offer help or treatment, or even reassurance (that weren’t simply empty statements), least of all meaningful or inspirational connection. So perhaps there is something also in tolerating, in surviving, these times of great separation from the world that builds a different kind of connection with ourselves and the world around us. Perhaps this is also part of my drive now to writing.
Having started a PhD, I am all the more (acutely, painfully) aware of just how expansive the things I do not know are. I am writing more self consciously than I have done in a while because of this and the immediacy (and intimacy) of writing a blog post where I simply press a button and it is published, on view to the world is new (again) to me. What is, and has been, a solitary activity, becomes immediately public - a more rapid process, without the numerous hurdles (or opportunities to rewrite) of publishing a book. And my motivation is again of community building, of connecting with others, that means I am writing on substack and sharing here, as perhaps your reading of this also implies, a motivation for connection of some kind. The dance between solitude and community continues.
I have also indicated that this will be a post with some writing prompts - or prompts for any other kind of creative practice you wish to pursue - so while I continue with my own reading and writing on solitude, shifting from being alone to the connection with others (whether that’s through reading or online engagement, as well as physically), I invite you also to dwell on these things (if it feels safe for you to do so). By all means ignore this invitation and look at other posts for now if the notion of being alone is too painful, but I hope having the chance to consider the value of these times (and that you have read this so far) and of using writing or art in other forms might transform how you view time alone or in solitude, whatever that might look like.
As a free write (or draw), type or write by hand or using the speech to text function on your phone or computer (draw or paint), what comes to you when you begin a sentence:
“Being alone is…”
“the meaning of solitude can be…”
and simply write/respond without trying, without thinking about what you are doing. Give yourself five to ten minutes, and if you get stuck go back to the beginning of the sentence prompt again, this can work as a useful warm-up to get your body considering writing/art-ing, but doesn't work for all so don’t worry if it doesn’t take you to where you hoped. By all means come back later or move on and see if the next prompt nudges at something.
Thinking about the different negative or positive attachments that are connected with these themes, are there preferences of words you use in describing time spent on your own? It might be solitude or alone-ness. Isolated (for me) feels more distanced and less a choice, but this may be arbitrary. Spend some time selecting your preferred words or phrases that enable an embracing of the time (and space) as having a different quality or potential. Make a note of them.
With each word you’ve selected in the centre of a page or top of a new document online, draw out a map of all the words or thoughts or responses each word leads you to. This can be in the form of a ‘mind map’ for instance - I have in mind a word at the centre of a blank sheet with a series of lines coming out of it star-like, linking to other words or terms or phrases it makes you think of. Again, this can be a drawing or painting or something else.
Beginning to unpick and develop some of these ideas, I invite you to dwell on the value of isolation/being alone (whichever word you prefer to use) and how you might celebrate these in some way. Celebration feels like (potentially) an awkward word here but I’ve left it in case it prompts something - even if in challenge to it. I’ve included some starts to sentences in case this helps to nudge at something:
“The value of solitude is in the…
“I value times alone when…
“Being on my own can bring…
You might also want to take this last prompt literally and create a celebration for your time alone, throw it a party, make a note on the calendar as time you have spent on your own, plan for a time to set aside specifically to be on your own, protect this precious space.
Returning to the article online about Agnes Martin, and her earlier quote, I notice the phrase used is ‘mind-clearing isolation’ - it’s her expectation for ‘enlightenment’ that was disappointing in her solitude in New Mexico. The piece goes on to quote Martin as saying:
“We have been very strenuously conditioned against solitude…I suggest to artists that you take every opportunity of being alone”
Bringing each of these elements together, continue with something in your writing that has more energy or interest in it for you. By all means read more on Martin or other artists who have spent time alone and give yourself some space to wonder into new places and see what they might show you.
Happy writing!
Gotthardt, A. (2019) Agnes Martin on resisting the urge to be alone. Artsy. (online) https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-agnes-martin-resisting-urge